Committed
We were in Batu Pahat last weekend for Faizal's wedding to Diana.Hubs has known Faizal almost all his life while I myself met him about more than 20 years ago. Gosh!When I looked at it this way, I sure feel bloody ancient! Hubs was the best man at Faizal's first marriage and how ironic that last weekend he was also the bestman, though I think he made quite a hopeless one..hahaha!
Ironic that as a Johorean, I have never really explored Batu Pahat..Yes, I have passed the town when I was smaller I guess, without giving two hoots what's in Batu Pahat. And one night in BP was not enough time to really see what BP has to offer except for the very nice Fried Oyster I had for dinner at the Rex Food Junction in town. The town itself is widely spread, I think bigger than JB with one way street everywhere which made looking for places a bit crappy but I was not driving..hehehe.
The wedding was simple with gorgeous theme colour of black and silver (if only the weather was cooler). we were at the mosque for the akad ceremony and later for the feast at Diana's house. And by dusk yesterday, we were back home...Sweettt...We were so tired that hubs stopped somewhere on the way for a quick nap. Getting old sure is not much fun!
I finally, at long last... finished reading a book that I started reading yonks ago. Ironic that I finished reading it in BP for a wedding coz the book is "Committed' by Elizabeth Gilbert of the fame "Eat, Pray, Love". Everything is ironic to me or ironically I wanna look at things a certain way in an irony fashion..what the hell am I writing?..Bah!! Anyway, the book basically went on and on about the author trying to find peace with the fact that she has to marry Felipe, her lover when she felt that they can continue co-habiting without a marriage cert. The whole process of getting her facts and knowledge on marriage sounded tiring in the book, which is perhaps the reason why I took so long to finish it. Suffice to say, I'm glad that my decision for my own nuptials was never hard decisions to make. In part it had to be because of tht he fact that whatever decisions I made are usually based on my own gut feel, with guidance from Allah and pushed by the fact that although I am fully capable of living alone, I chose not to because I could.
The last almost 12 years have been a roller coaster of a ride complete with headaches, cries, shouts but not without the excitement, glee and euphoria of a ride. I take this pact (it IS a pact) that we made to stick together for better or for worse seriously but at times as human have to remind myself hahaha...I read this twit I received this morning "in life, u must find someone that knows all ur flaws, differences, mistakes n yet still loves everything abt u" and I know that is the case for me... and hope the same for hubs..
A lot of times, in this marriage I take him for granted sometimes without even realising it. I get a "knock" on my head only when I realised that "Ey !He's ignoring me!" And I let him do that coz I guess that's his way of venting...Vent quietly....very quietly...in isolation..
Jokes aside, it was interesting to read some parts of the book and I would like to share them here...Go on, read the book so that these excerpts I took will not be misconstrued...
" I've come to believe that we all too often make the same assumption about marriage.We believe that when two people really love each other, then intimacy will somehow be intuitive to them, and their marriage will run forever on the mere power of affection. Because all you need is love! Or so I believed in my youth.You certainly don't need strategies or assistance or tools or perspective"
" Conventional wisdom has always taught that couples must argue in order to air out their grievances. But we scarcely ever argued. Did this mean we are repressing our true anger and resentment, and that one day it will explode in our faces in a hot wave of fury and violence? It didn't feel that way"
"New research shows that some couples managed to dodge serious conflict for decades without any serious blowbacks. Such couples make an art form out of something called " mutually accomodating behaviour" - delicately and studiously folding themselves inside out and backwards on order to avoid discord. This system, btw, works only when both people have accomodating personalities. Needless to say, it is not a healthy marriage when one spouse is meekly compliant and the other is a domineering monster or a unrepentant harridan. But nutual meekness can make for a successful partnering strategy , if it's what both people want. Conflict-averse couple prefer to let their grievances dissolve rather than fight over every point"
"All human beings have failing, "- Eleanor Roosevelt wrote. "All human beings have needs and temptation and stress. Men and women who have lived together over long years get to know one another's failings; but they also come to know what is worthy of respect and admiration in those they live with and in themselves"
"Maybe creating enough space within your conciousness to hold and accept someone's contradictions - someone idiocies, even - is a kind of divine art. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or a monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner's most tiresome, irritating faults"
Oh, I could go on and on with this...The book was an interesting read though not as addictive as her Eat, Pray, Love. I found myself putting down the book more often than when I read the earlier book. Go on..read it sometime..I enjoyed it eventually, so could you..
Ironic that as a Johorean, I have never really explored Batu Pahat..Yes, I have passed the town when I was smaller I guess, without giving two hoots what's in Batu Pahat. And one night in BP was not enough time to really see what BP has to offer except for the very nice Fried Oyster I had for dinner at the Rex Food Junction in town. The town itself is widely spread, I think bigger than JB with one way street everywhere which made looking for places a bit crappy but I was not driving..hehehe.
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| The couple in black and their black and silver pelamin |
I finally, at long last... finished reading a book that I started reading yonks ago. Ironic that I finished reading it in BP for a wedding coz the book is "Committed' by Elizabeth Gilbert of the fame "Eat, Pray, Love". Everything is ironic to me or ironically I wanna look at things a certain way in an irony fashion..what the hell am I writing?..Bah!! Anyway, the book basically went on and on about the author trying to find peace with the fact that she has to marry Felipe, her lover when she felt that they can continue co-habiting without a marriage cert. The whole process of getting her facts and knowledge on marriage sounded tiring in the book, which is perhaps the reason why I took so long to finish it. Suffice to say, I'm glad that my decision for my own nuptials was never hard decisions to make. In part it had to be because of tht he fact that whatever decisions I made are usually based on my own gut feel, with guidance from Allah and pushed by the fact that although I am fully capable of living alone, I chose not to because I could.
The last almost 12 years have been a roller coaster of a ride complete with headaches, cries, shouts but not without the excitement, glee and euphoria of a ride. I take this pact (it IS a pact) that we made to stick together for better or for worse seriously but at times as human have to remind myself hahaha...I read this twit I received this morning "in life, u must find someone that knows all ur flaws, differences, mistakes n yet still loves everything abt u" and I know that is the case for me... and hope the same for hubs..
A lot of times, in this marriage I take him for granted sometimes without even realising it. I get a "knock" on my head only when I realised that "Ey !He's ignoring me!" And I let him do that coz I guess that's his way of venting...Vent quietly....very quietly...in isolation..
Jokes aside, it was interesting to read some parts of the book and I would like to share them here...Go on, read the book so that these excerpts I took will not be misconstrued...
" I've come to believe that we all too often make the same assumption about marriage.We believe that when two people really love each other, then intimacy will somehow be intuitive to them, and their marriage will run forever on the mere power of affection. Because all you need is love! Or so I believed in my youth.You certainly don't need strategies or assistance or tools or perspective"
" Conventional wisdom has always taught that couples must argue in order to air out their grievances. But we scarcely ever argued. Did this mean we are repressing our true anger and resentment, and that one day it will explode in our faces in a hot wave of fury and violence? It didn't feel that way"
"New research shows that some couples managed to dodge serious conflict for decades without any serious blowbacks. Such couples make an art form out of something called " mutually accomodating behaviour" - delicately and studiously folding themselves inside out and backwards on order to avoid discord. This system, btw, works only when both people have accomodating personalities. Needless to say, it is not a healthy marriage when one spouse is meekly compliant and the other is a domineering monster or a unrepentant harridan. But nutual meekness can make for a successful partnering strategy , if it's what both people want. Conflict-averse couple prefer to let their grievances dissolve rather than fight over every point"
"All human beings have failing, "- Eleanor Roosevelt wrote. "All human beings have needs and temptation and stress. Men and women who have lived together over long years get to know one another's failings; but they also come to know what is worthy of respect and admiration in those they live with and in themselves"
"Maybe creating enough space within your conciousness to hold and accept someone's contradictions - someone idiocies, even - is a kind of divine art. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or a monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner's most tiresome, irritating faults"
Oh, I could go on and on with this...The book was an interesting read though not as addictive as her Eat, Pray, Love. I found myself putting down the book more often than when I read the earlier book. Go on..read it sometime..I enjoyed it eventually, so could you..
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